This Territory Goes Uncharted

Events of the past few days have somewhat had a significant impact on the way I view myself in relation to the people in close proximity as well as the rest of the world.

Okay, so this is probably me on a daily basis, always deep in thought and reflection, constantly retracing my actions and feelings had at particular moments; worrying about things I’ve said and done and the impact on others.

Still, time and maturity have done their wonders- it’s because of them that I can acknowledge my fears as they present themselves in various forms.

Back to the little challenges of the past week, I can happily say I am learning a great deal through the conquest of them. I’ve learned that people are indifferent to people who are different; that self-indulgence stems from self-emptiness; that insecurity breeds defensiveness and not to mention the thirst for attention.

Knowing and accepting the effects of these causes has helped me better understand the human psyche and therefore, helps me avoid (when possible) and live with such personalities who have the power to cause me misery should I allow them to.

Importantly, in overlooking these obstacles, I have realised a clearer picture of where I want to be in my life and how to get there. Each step isn’t set in stone but I am making several sign posts to help guide the way. And though it seems no one has mapped out this same path before me, I kind of like the feeling I’m going out there alone.

It’s a clean slate that way- no one to tell me how things are supposed to be done, no pressure to conform, no rules to tie me down. I could fail on my own, but I could also succeed on my own. It’s all uncharted and that’s the most exciting part.

As my sister told me, life is like a never-ending song. It continues with its ad-libs, oohs and aahs, though not always in key, but if you choose to make it so, an overall enjoyable progression of improvised melodies that you can share with others who want to sing along or care enough to listen.

Sara Bareilles’ latest record could not have been released at a better time. It’s crazy how much it speaks to me at this point in my life but it is this about music that makes me love it so. Kaleidoscope Heart, thank you.

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